What's this all about?

Welcome new recruit!  You'll need to purchase the requisite Santa suit, get yourself a flask or other concealed alcoholic beverage container and join us!  Don't forget to read the four fucks, put together your gear using a little creativity and Santa-know-how then show up to one of the designated starting locations at the designated time on the events page. 

What Should I Wear?

A Santa Suit!  Of course while by far the most popular attire for Santacon, people have worn thematic Santa Suits, Elf Clothing, Reindeers, Trees and Presents have also joined Santacon.  Santacon has also been the home of Hannukah Harry's and Hannukah Hannahs.   But whoever you are:
  • BRING WARM CLOTHING
  • WEAR GOOD WALKING SHOES!

Where do I get a costume?

Santa highly recommends "A Masquerade Costume"

What do I respond when people ask why everyone is dressed as Santa?

  • "It's CHRIIIISTMAAAAS. We're SAAAANTA." said kinda slowly with lots of emphasis like the person to whom you're talking is mildly retarded.
  • Why aren't you?
  • Didn't you get the memo?
  • Because our gorilla suits are in the laundry.
  • I decided to leave my Salvation Army job and join a gang
  • I have a Santa fetish.
  • What? Who? (Turn around, act surprised to see a bunch of Santas) - Oh, shit!  Where did all these Santas come from?!?
  • I'm only allowed to tell you if you dress like Santa.
  • Group Therapy: To mollify a deep-seated neurosis.
  • This is a pick-up location for day labor Santas.
  • We're undercover. I'd leave the area if I were you.
  • I don't know who these impostors are but they're following me everywhere.
  • I hope I'm not the first to tell you this, but you know Santa Claus isn't real, right?
  • What Santas?  I don't see anyone else dressed like that. You must be hallucinating. Better knock off the cough medicine.
  • I don't know about those guys, but this is what I always wear on my days off.  I just figured it got trendy.
  • The nuclear plant up at the North Pole had a melt down and caused some weird mutations. We just woke up one morning and were all there. It was pretty freaky.

Why are people drinking from Windex bottles?

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Bringing a personal stash of booze is a time honored tradition of Santacon, but back in the day Santa was highly encouraged to disguise said booze stash in a bottle of a cleaning product, which ads to the shock value when drinking from the aforementioned stash.  Look at me using fancy words.  Long story short.... if you want to kick it old school, get yourself a Windex bottle.... but remember you need to rinse that shit like 200 times before you use it.

When can I find out "The Route"?

Ah "The Route".  Back in MY day Santa didn't need no stinking route.  Santa made sure to show up on time, and then when Santa heard "Ho Ho Ho Santas gotta go!" Santa left that bar and followed Santa to the next place.  This is much more than knowing where you're going.  So first off, if you can live without the route... do it!  Now some Santas have just gotten too big to not tell people where we're going, so we will post the route THE DAY OF SANTA... and not before.  Also when Santa gets to the event, Santa sometimes will hand out printed routes to about 10-15% of the Santas that show up in the beginning.  My advice, forget all that.... let Santa be magical.

What's the difference between Santacon and Santarchy?

Usually nothing, they are two different names for the same thing.  However here in Seattle we run a smaller Santa that can go all around the city to various neighborhoods, and that is Seattle Santacon.  We also run a bigger Santa which pretty much has to stay in a similar area of town every year, and that is Seattle Santarchy.  Using the different names for each helps us tell them apart.

Links

Carol Book

santacon_carols.pdf
File Size: 553 kb
File Type: pdf
Download File
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Does this offend you? If it does... DON'T COME TO SANTACON!